Channelling McGuyver

Once again I made the trek to my spiritual home (Bunnings), said a little prayer for a pink tool belt as I crossed the threshold and crossed myself with my tape measure.

Directly above me, the Goddess of Budget Home Renovation heard my silent plea, shone her light down from the heavens and said "Unperfect Lulu I cannot grant you a pink tool belt from this house built of testosterone...but I see the sacrifice of your clothing and hair, and the dedication to preserving your fingernails despite your toil - for this I bestow a gift in the paint department"

I wandered over with a trolley to lift the massive tin of Floor Sealer from the paint section and noticed the 'mistint' paint shelf. I can't help but have a look there each time I am there - even though I know it will be full of Bile Yellow, Exorcist Vomit Green and revolting shades of brown. Cheap but unusable, even if you are colourblind. Usually. This time LO and BEHOLD there were several mistints in neutral colours. NEUTRAL COLOURS. In all my years of dedication I have never seen such a thing.




I found -
several sample pots of varying shades for 50 cents.
4 litres of interior eco paint ($52.90) for $20
2 litres of semi-gloss easy coat ($36.28) for $10
2 litres of accent super awesome ($55.88) for $15
1 litre of pale enamel ($29.09) for $5


4 litres of outdoor paint..in WHITE down from $58.90 to $15. Because the tin was dented. I have vague ideas of kicking all the tins I want with steel capped boots but realise I don't need to. I have over $350 of quality paint for $65. Thank you Reno Goddess!


Since I am paint McGuyver, I mix the pale mistints in with half a can of ceiling white as a prep coat to cover the foul walls of the PINK room.



It was a pretty gross colour itself but it did the job perfectly.

I used the gloss to cover the yukky old doors



It took days to strip the paint off the old trims, but I'm glad I did because it would have stuck out too much against the rest of the room.



The purple stuff on the edges is masking tape....


About 10 minutes into painting the doors in the gloss, I noticed how thick the texture was....and how it wasn't coming off my hands with a wet cloth. Then I realised I didn't have any Mineral Turpentine. I don't even think I've used gloss/enamel paint before so it didn't occur to me to buy some.


By the time I finished the door my hands were SO STICKY and water made it worse. So I had to drive back to Bunnings for turps with 2 cloths on my hands like a dickhead to protect the steering wheel.

Uh-oh

You just KNOW that when renovating an old house that you are going to have 'Uh-oh' moments and in fact several "oh SHIT" moments.

Due to the insane 'architecture' of the previous extension to my home - which includes random materials clearly sourced from questionable origin, I was expecting those moments. My bedroom is a good size...but has two doors. In the same wall. Out of the 4 bedroom doors one was an unattractive shade of green, 2 were poo brown and the last half heartedly painted white.

The carpet was so threadbare in places and surely reclaimed from an old government building....and it was PEA GREEN.



You can catch a bit of the carpet in the corner here. That's Cyclone pulling out staples with the pliers. Let's not talk about the horrific pink on the walls just yet *vomit.

So I pull up the carpet in Betty Boo's old room....and here is the uh-oh moment.



The lighter parts are rotted board and it may be possible put your foot through it

How could I forget the first winter after we moved in when we discovered every downpipe was completely blocked by 20 years of leaves? Rain ran down the walls in both kids rooms and clearly soaked the carpet in the corner. We fixed it the next week, and we didn't have a problem again. Till now.


The next one was an "Oh SHIT" moment.



More water damage, but this is worse because it's floorboards and because that wall backs onto the bathroom...so hell knows what I'm going to uncover when I start on that!

FIXIN' TIME



Cut out the damage



Nail down a new section of yellowtongue floorboard at the cost of $19.99



and hope the children continue with their broom obsession because it's really coming in handy.

TA DAH!

If these walls could talk.

I just thought I'd make you aware of the fact I am going to bore you all silly with pics of my Budget Home Renovation.

I'm spending every spare moment at the house. Which really is lots of 2 hour blocks so not much time to get an entire house done inside and out. Truthfully - this is supposed to be my funnest time, but it's not. I am trapped by a budget that is minute, I don't have enough time to really chase down the things I want and I worry it's going to look weird and disjointed.

But I soldier on like a bloody trojan because the only way I'm going to get this done is to actually get it done.

I'm alone, the space is huge and I feel overwhelmed by the pain and sorrow infused into the walls I'm washing down. The long sleepless years, the fear of what the future held for Cyclone, the worries of how I was to keep everything together whilst the house and my family was falling apart.


So what do you do?


Ya call in your buddies!



Some are good with powertools





Some aren't but rock up with pizza and willingness to give anything a go



and some just come to keep me company and share a cup of tea, and sweet times with their little boys who thrive amongst all the noise.


And day by day, as the laughs get louder, pizza consumed, the old replaced with the new - the pain and sorrow washed away and replaced with joy and optimism.

I am rebuilding my house, my family home the place I've raised my babies and I'm also rebuilding my spirit.

Wax On, Wax Off.

Sanding Floorboards is good for your brain...

Whoa - it feels like I've been away for months.

I've sat down to post...but then got all meh about it.
Then I got Foxtel and had to catch up on months of complete TRASH tv.
Then Cyclone restarted school and it's been a very successful venture and therefore I've had more time to do other things.

These other things have made me particularly tired and nearly unable to think which has been quite a lovely holiday from a head jammed full of a million different thoughts shooting in 500 different directions.

It's all been very Wax On, Wax Off and good for the soul, and my house is benefiting too.

Due to budget restrictions (who am I kidding - budget STRANGLEHOLD), I've had to do the floors of the house myself.

50 years of dirt -



I pulled up the carpet in a rampage when Betty Boo started crawling. We had three dogs at the time and carpet is just ick. I left the boards bare for 2 years but it was still cleaner than carpet.


This is the remnants of old lino glued fast to the timber. I hope it's not a problem to rip off - I can always tile over it I suppose.





With all the carpet up and staples pulled out of the floor it's time to punch all the nails into the floor. All of them! If you don't you will rip the nailhead off when sanding (not good) and rip the sandpaper to shreds.




You can see the sanding machine ready to go in the before shot.





More before




Half done!




DONE!



New carpet - over $2500
Do it yourself sand and polish $450

It's loud and dusty and will take an entire weekend but I'm thrilled with the results. The sander isn't too hard to handle once you get the hang of it and I'm pleased to report no holes in the timber.

Here's a gratuitous sexy powertool pic....sorry that's as sexy as it's gonna get with a floor sander.

Leafblower dude - you blow

Firstly I have to credit Andrea at Revealing The Real Me for this episode.

I found myself responding to her post...but it got so long it was embarrassing so I backpedaled and thought it would be better to post it here rather than taking up her comment space with my rantings.


So - powertools on the weekend don't bother me. Either it spurs me on to get Up And At 'Em or I re-roll back into my doona and smirk at all the busy suckers in the world.


Sadly across the road from my old house lived a retired man. With a leafblower.


Every second day for at least an hour this silly bored fucker would have that leaf blower going at full pelt. These things don't have the low grunty sound of the chainsaw or the lawnmower. They have this horrible high pitched weeeeeeeeeee thing going like an outdoor vacuum cleaner, and it makes me want to hurt people. It took me ages to figure it out what it was because he does most of his blowing in his backyard and I couldn't work out the source of the head-splitting noise for ages.

By my calculations - since stupidhead neighbour has this thing going so often that on average he will be blowing away about 9 leaves per day. Heard of a RAKE???? Or do you have arborphobia?



I've even seen the silly old bugger running around on his roof, blowing 5 whole leaves out of his gutters. Before winter has even begun. I can't tell you how freakin pleased I am that I moved before all the leaves dropped because I couldn't go through listening to the shrill racket every day for two whole months.

Without a doubt I would have ended up rigging up a potato cannon in order to knock the bastard off the roof, hopefully landing on the infernal machine breaking it into 8 billion pieces.


this is a potato cannon,
thanks to Ants World for the pic.


Anyhoo, I headed off to the old place to get some work done and borrowed Aquamans dirty great big leaf SUCKER. It's like the leaf blowers crazy biker big brother and I luuurrve wielding that thing. He never lets me use it usually so I couldn't wait to get it going. Of course I made sure I started it in the driveway so the neighbour could see and then treated him to hours of the joyous sounds of PROPER POWER TOOLS.

I know it gave him the shits because I saw him peeking out from behind his curtains, and stupid as my glee in powertool one upmanship (upwomanship?) is it made clearing up my monstrous garden in the freezing cold just a little easier....

Dragging my feet

Yep, it's time to pack up my little home and mosey on. I'm so conflicted, in fact right now I should be busy making arrangements but I'm blogging instead.

I'm sad that it has come to this - I hate moving and swore I never would again. I found my perfectly unperfect house in a nice street, close to all the important things and I love it to death. A big private front yard, and great big backyard with a deck overlooking..... The thing I will miss most is my huge sunny lounge room with enormous windows running the entire length. Shady in summer and in autumn the most perfect picture of a million different shades - fire red, yellows and rusty browns as the leaves of the Japanese Maples turn and fall.

I'll even miss the god awful bathroom. I think that is what bothers me most - leaving it unfinished. I had so much to complete, designs I pored over and fussed with - now I will just whack in cheap new fittings in order to lease it out.

So it's just a piece of real estate, available for rent. I have to do it, it's the smartest thing and when I think about it in unemotional terms I do get a little bit excited.

I am lucky enough to have a trusty bachelor friend with a big ole house and an invitation to stay as long as we like. Best of all it's a finished house! I can't say it won't be more relaxing to sit in the lounge in front of the fire and NOT think of something else that needs to be done. It's toasty, warm and best of all - minimal rent!

The bachelor works long hours, isn't here much but he is happy there will be someone here, there will be home cooking and the porch light will be on when he does come home. I can get ahead again financially, will have time to restart my business and help Cyclone with his schooling......maybe even look at investing in more property in the next 12 months. WOOOO!

It has been worth the slog over the last 2 years. I guarded my investment like Cerberus (although moaning that I couldn't afford shiny things anymore), knowing it was the key to bigger and better things in the long run, loving that it was ALL MINE, I gots it all by myself. (I'm going on a bit about that but I know there are other single mummies reading this and I want to make a point that it can be done)

Oh lordy I have warned him about the noise factor of 2 children - repeatedly - but he says "that's what pubs are for, they sleep at night don't they?"

Ummm, yeah - after 15 rounds with Betty Boo, she does go to sleep. Eventually.

Anyway, I can't dilly dally anymore. I must go and throw out all the broken and useless toys before the kids get back from their grandparents....


I love dilly dally. I NEVER get a chance to use it.

GET OFF THE BLOG LU!!!!!

NEXT PROJECT!

Oh I forgot to share this with you! I bought it months ago. My latest find at the Top Secret Wreckers Yard. This is the next best thing to air conditioning at my place and at $140 a bargain.



It's going to stay outside for a little longer until I can clear some space in the garage and strip it back. I also have to restore the bottom section of timber because it's rotted away a little. Tradie Jay just laughed his ass off when I proudly showed it to him. "Have fun with that" he says, drizzling on my parade just a little. Up yours I retort, it's possible to fix isn't it?
He grudgingly admits that it is and seems happier when I tell him it's MY project and I'm not going to ask him to do it.

Pfft to him - I haz a library card and I'm gonna learn me how to do it, paint it white and do a little dance after I knock out my bedroom windows (that don't open past an inch) and fit this instead.

More sigh

I'm feeling more apathy as the days go by. I have so much to do, plenty of time but no money to do it with. It could be worse but this doesn't appeal to my impatient personality one little bit.

I have this to go



The roof is gone rotten and started falling off. It's a priority because you can see it from the street and it's just embarrassing.

So I bought myself the timber for a Xmas present and set about demolishing the parts still attached. MORE satisfaction. I love wielding a hammer and destroying stuff is fun.

I had grand plans of doing this little project aaallll by myself. Sadly as the slats came off I could see a fair bit of rot on the beams. Never mind. I have some great beams collected from the hard rubbish that I could use. Buuuuuut - this is out of my league.



There are only one or four damaged beams, and I probably could have a go myself but Aquaman and Tradie Jay think I'm mad. I suppose I should listen. I am NOT going to listen to them telling me I have to buy new beams though. THEY say I should by new treated ones. I'm not gonna. I have perfectly acceptable reclaimed (and unused) beams stacked up and waiting. I'm going to paint them to protect them - NOT buy new ones. So there.
Although I did quickly check out my Top Secret Wreckers Yard for the plank covering but you can't really reclaim the thinner pieces and have to buy them new.

I always listen to Top Secret Wreckers man when he gives me advice - cos he's a hottie.

So much apathy, so little time

*sigh

I'm tyyyyyerd. It's taken me a week to type this sentence. It's not that I've been slack - I've got the window done



Rotten job that one. It took ages chiseling out all the old putty, it was hard as a rock. I had the glass ready, so I had to wait a bit until tradie Jay could spare some time after work. He did the work for a slab of beer, so I make sure he didn't have to do the crap bits, just fit the glass in.

Tradie Jay is a friend of Aquaman. Splitting up with Aquaman sucked, but losing access to the tradies was terrible too. I fought hard for Mick the Mechanic though. I know, I know other couples fight about who gets the tupperware......

Nearly there!

Ok ok ok - my lounge is nearly done. 4 years after I bought this place. A few little adjustments here and there.

Here is a recap



Bad, baaaaaad blue and some-sort-of-stony-colour. After much shenanigans, it looks like this -



I like the softness of this shot....that I forgot to put the flash on for...




So I just have to faff around with the curtains a little and it's nearly there.

Yay!

Another wall finished..

Yaaaay!

I finished my kitchen/dining room wall! Remember this? That's the plasterer filling the trenches left by a stupid 'handyman' that cannot hang walls correctly.




Then we were left with this -



Prep coat x2 and you have this - niiiiice!


2 weeks of stressing over colour. I'm going to put the 1702 different sample pots I have on Freecycle. I've used about 20ml out of each pot so If I can save someone some $$ and stop all that lovely paint going to the tip it's a good thang.



Here is the end result. I can't wait to get the ladder out of my house. Although that ladder is the bees knees, I'm sick of it in my house. I have to wait until tomorrow morning to check I haven't missed anywhere, then I can move everything back into it's place. YAAAAY!




Oh lordy that revolting aircon box has got to remain marring my wall until further notice. I'll need one heck of a powerful unit to effectively cool the area and there is no point putting that in until I have the curtains up, and I have the $$$ to actually do it...

So I'll still be blocking off half the lounge with sheets this summer so we can get some relief from another predicted scorcher - but I'm still a very lucky girl. I have a roof over my head, walls to paint and a bunch of funny kids to entertain me.

Cheers

The Victorian Dust Storm

You might not have heard about this one on the news. It happened this afternoon and was very localised....to my dining area in fact.

The plaster was dry enough to be sanded ready for painting, so it's all smooth now. And the floor looks like this



Lucky Cyclone is here to help with the vacuuming.


It must be memorialised that for once he was helping clean the mess instead of making it....


Here is Betty Boo, fresh from her bath. Yes she is wearing her bathers even though its 10 degrees and hailing outside. Even though its bedtime.

10 points if you noticed they are on backwards....

Getting plastered

So one end of the living area is done. Time for the next one. The dining area. Sadly the dude that owned the house before me thought it was fine to line the walls with masonite instead of plaster, and that hanging it vertically instead of horizontally was ok too.

But its not. I have big cracks between the sheets and even my universal filler skills couldn't cope with.

So here is my plasterer - well his bum anyway. He spent 3 hours 'floating' my wall, for the princely sum of a slab of beer.
I love Jamie the plaster man, cos now it looks like this -


This IS an improvement. As you can see by the splotches of colour I am having alot of trouble finding the right green.I am looking for the perfect green to go with the candy apple red Kitchen Aid I don't even own yet.

Some of you will understand that....

Painting Myths - 2 - Feature Walls

Feature walls are stupid. They were very trendy for awhile and you can blame that on all the Home Improvement shows that were clogging our screens for so long.

Why are they stupid? Well, because I said so - because I have only ever seen ONE decent one and it was done by a professional but even now it just looks outdated.

If you want to move your furniture around the 'feature' wall won't be that anymore.
You usually have to paint over them if you intend on selling your house cos not everyone loves Decadent Diva or Pina Colada.

That lurvely burnt orange that is so lovely in winter makes you feel like you are in an oven in summer.
Stick to changing the seasons with cushions and funky blankets - keep your walls a classic colour and save yourself 15 coats on the one wall. That's something no feature wall fan will tell you - the darker colours require so many coats of paint you are sick to death of it before it even dries.

Textured walls, save that for the outside. Sponging, rag rolling or anything that involves a special kind of paint - blueergh. I can't relax with a paint textured wall near me. It's never as easy as the DIY shows make it look, it just never looks right and you can always spot the part of the wall where the enthusiasm wanes.

Save yourself the hassle – have fabulous furniture instead….

Rebacks on the dunny seat.....ummm the shed.

And that my friends is a very dusty redback spider - no I wasn't going to dust it off for you.

I found quite a few of them when I cleaned out my massive garage. I love my garage so much. I can buy crappy furniture and store there until I am ready to fix it up.
That didn't happen however. I only had time to put in a lovely old fashioned cradle (hard rubbish woo hoo) and a set of six wooden chairs (more hard rubbish) before my sister needed the space to put all the crap she has accumulated over years of being a circus trapeze artist.

Most of it is out now, but I still have some trees from the set of Where the Wild Things are, about 15 cans of totally unusable paint and some airconditioning tube-y stuff. I'm quite attached to the trees actually. They are very light weight but look fabulous. Maybe I can put them in my bedroom - I've always wanted to sleep in a tree-house jungle....

Painting Myths One - It's fun...

Or the best thing about owning your home. If I ever grumble about this old house I hear the same chant from the renters of the world "but you can paint the walls any colour you like!"

Yes I can, and I have several times. Really, it isn't a great enough reason to hand over your soul to the bank. Stay happy with your rented white walls my friends, because you don't have to paint them. Or fill them, or sand them!

I used to think the same thing - and that it would be a lovely coupley thing to do with your significant other when you buy your first house together.

Cheekily flicking paint at each other, a smudge on the nose cheerfully decorating your own love nest and making your mark. Wearing an endearing pair of too big overalls, and bandanna tied just so.......that's probably just me, 'll stop now.

Realistically you will argue about the colour. Realistically you might despair over your darlings taste in anything. Realistically it takes a LOT of preparation and dust. Realistically should should pay someone else to do the whole stinking lot for you whilst you watch with a glass of Chardy in your hand.

However - if you are like me and can't afford that....I'm here for you, I feel your pain.

Least I can say I did it myself I suppose!

Done

I still have to put the pictures back up,
and finish the darn curtains.
I'm going to bed instead.....

Recycling, but not as you know it

Aquaman came to visit tonight to give me his assessment of the new paint. Aquaman was a painter in a previous life - so has been avoiding me at all costs this week, knowing I would put him straight to work if he crossed my threshold.

He pointed out how he could better fill the pits and holes, I dared him to prove me wrong (sucker!). The problem being I couldn't find my spatula, so I gave him this.


Take a really close look. Can you take a guess?


It's an old tube of Hi Shine Lip Gloss from The Body Shop. Tee Hee.

Some of you might know that I spent a good couple of years with The Body Shop at Home, who are well known for their general commitment to all thing good for the World and their Core Values - one of which is recycling. I remain committed.

Aquaman only slightly raised his eyebrows, but probably because he was expecting me to pass him my trusty butter knife - which has momentarily retired in favour of a humble tube of lip gloss - and a great colour too.

Love

There, it's gone...

It looks patchy because it's wet right now, but the worst is over. The final colour is arriving in the afternoon and I hope I can get it on before the children get back home. I can't face living with stark white walls a moment longer.
I'm a little bit over it, the furniture is jammed up one end of the house and I still have the usual BORING housework to catch up on so I am spending tomorrow morning on some errands and sending out my first lot of Bach Remedies so I need to clear a space to get zen and blend.

Right now I'm going to have a hot shower, park my butt in front of some trashy television and eat Brie till I feel sick.

Stay tuned for the final results.

Paint roller be damned!

I hate, hate, hate rollers. You have to load so much paint on, it flicks EVERYWHERE and it can be really back breaking work even with the telescopic poles. If you have furniture in the room, the poles are unwieldy and clumsy.
I was thrilled to pieces to find this at the local paint shop. I think its just called a 'paint pad'. Dip in the the paint tray and walk from one end of the room to the other and it smears on. Awesomeness. Far easier. No paint splattering everywhere. Easier on the muscles. Love it.

You can also get these in edging tools to, but I'm paint cutting in Queen of the World too, so I don't make use of them all the time, however I will for the final coat of colour because it hides the tell tale brush marks and blends it better.

It you want to avoid the endless washing, rinsing and paint down the sink just put the tray into a medium sized garbage bag. Whip it off and throw in the bin when you have finished!