EMO Cat goes too far

Emo cat has been more mental than usual lately and usually it’s a source of amusement, not this time.

For the last two weeks, he has been going a little crazy. Eating like a rhinoceros, scratching my legs to ribbons and doing the Emo Cat Death Stare overtime. I think it’s because Betty Boo has been a complete ratbag and refusing to go to sleep at bedtime. Since that involves bouncing all over her bed, Emo cat can’t go to sleep at his preferred time of 8pm. He must be turning into geriatric old fart Emo cat.


He has always been a bit quirky, and has a memory like an elephant. He hates Aquaman because when we were married he wouldn’t allow Emo cat to sleep on the arm of the couch, which was up until the nuptials, his favourite place to kip. I know some people don’t like animals on furniture but personally I don’t see the point of having a cat and not let it drape itself all over the place. But I digress – Aquaman and I haven’t lived together for about 8 years, but everytime he comes to visit Emo cat strides up and pisses on his car. He doesn’t pee on anything else – he saves it for Aquaman.

But this time he has gone too far. Emo cat has been upset and apparently now I must pay.

The bastard peed on my dog.

Horrible, stinking boy cat wee, soaked deep into the plush pile of Fluffy Mutt’s coat.

BASTARD.

Memories

Best Buds

He was a lover not a fighter, but he could hold his own. It was almost like he was a ‘bouncer’, because other dogs (not properly controlled by their idiot owners) seemed to just go for him. German Shepherd, Rottweiler, Staffies bred to fight – they took him on and he won each time. His poor scarred old head used to scare kids in the park, his big ole smile showing all his teeth and happiness to see another potential friend to play with used to be misinterpreted. Mothers clutched children to their breasts, teenagers climbed trees and postmen used to run the other way. Not in the early years, but later on when he turned silver and started huffing and panting and getting all rusty.

He didn’t need to be walked on a lead, but we attached one anyway , just so people didn’t feel threatened. He made so many little friends. If a child was frightened at the park, he would sit down, huffing and puffing and smiling. We would reassure the mum or dad that he won’t hurt anyone and in a few minutes of showing a child how to approach a dog, there would be a kid happy to have a new friend in Tysie Boy. He wasn’t a large dog but Staffies have a bad rep.

I can’t work out if this is silly or not but one of the reasons I didn’t have a homebirth was because it would have been too distressing for him! Maybe if he had been a girl dog that had been through a birth her own – but I could just see myself tripping over him whilst I paced the hallway and howling outside the door in fear during the crucial moments….or jumping in the birth pool with me for a splash and a roll. No, that was the right decision in retrospect!


Last year we pensioned him off to live in the country with Scorpios mum. Scorp was there most of the time anyway and it was getting too much for the old fella to have Cyclone jumping on his head.
That’s not to say he didn’t adore the kids to the moon and back. They both pulled themselves up to standing via Tyson. They watched telly on the floor using him as a pillow, included him in every game and piled pillows and blankets all over him, much to his delight……and theirs until he farted with joy.
The funniest incident must have been the day we found Cyclone and Ty in the kitchen. Ty clearly was in two minds about obeying his littlest master because he was being forced to lie down against the cupboards so Cyclone could stand on his back to reach the breadknife on the bench.


Oh I could go on for hours. We could have made millions on Funniest Home Videos if we kept the camera on him for a few hours a day.
In any case…we knew the end was nigh. Tyse was in pain, his heart was failing but it couldn’t seem to let go. There were days he was fine, but nights he was suffering terribly. He was 16 and most Staffies just don’t last that long. His shiny brindle coat was frosty with age.

Last weekend the kids went to Scorpios. They took Tyson down to the river as usual and he was like a puppy again, dragging enormous tree branches up to the bank, diving under to retrieve rocks and playing tug-o-war until they all fell over in hysterics.
It took a very long time to walk home, he nearly had to be carried. When they got back they put him on his bed, snuggled him in his blankets and everybody kissed and cuddled him.


After a Perfect Day, finally that almighty heart gave in and it was the end of an era.

Goodbye Old Friend

Our Jackaran Bounty Boy – otherwise known as Tyson.



Also known as Little Man, Tysie Boy and You Rotten Old Stinker. He died yesterday aged 16 years and 3 days.

16 years of undivided loyalty and companionship, 16 years of memories. He was an awesome legendary dog and loved by all he encountered. It might be hard to tell but Ty was a brindle purebred English Staffordshire Terrier.

I remember when Scorpio brought him home – I was always greeted at the gate by a bundle of energy in the form of a concrete block on legs, the staffy smile wide on his face and a demand for attention that could not be ignored.
Scorpio took him everywhere, to work, to the shops - those two were never apart and they adored each other.

Tyson was a part of our family and he never let us forget it. During conversations he would join in – talking back to us in his funny growly bark. If we had friends over and he wasn’t paid enough attention he would bark sharply until he was included in the fun. At night watching telly or when I was working at my desk Tysie would be at my feet, leaning on my legs just to be close. He also liked to be under things….curtains, throw rugs, tablecloths. He would wind himself around in blankets until he looked like a Babushka and have a nap.


Scorpio always let Tyson sleep on the bed with him, but I have never agreed with dogs on the furniture so things changed when Scorpio moved in with me. Poor Tysie used to stand at the bedroom door giving me the most reproachful looks. No one does reproachful like Tyson did. It melted my heart….but not much because sleeping with a concrete block on your legs is NOT fun. It didn’t stop him though, even though he was about 10 years old and even though I have a huge big old bed a few feet off the floor Tyson could still manage to jump up and snuggle in without me noticing he was there till morning. Ninja Staffy.

Tyse became my boy. When I was pregnant he was my shadow, when I brought Cyclone home from the hospital he sniffed him and looked at me as if to say “I will always look after my brother”…and he did.




I will never forget having an argument with Scorpio, we were yelling at each other in the kitchen and Tyson joined in. Scorpio stopped suddenly and left the room. Later he said he took one look at Tyson by MY side, yelling back at him and his heart nearly broke because he felt like he lost his dog to me.


To Be Continued....

I haz some answers.....

Alrighty then, I have 2 answers from my previous ponderings.

1) Yes there is liquorice vodka but you have to infuse it yourself. This may require more research on my behalf because I'm not sure what liquorice to use. I still would like to know if I could just buy it pre-infused.

2) How much hair can a labrador shed in 15 minutes? THIS MUCH



After my last post I sat down and brushed Disco. I usually do this once a day, or even twice if I am trying to get out of housework. This is a terrible shot but the container is about 5 litres. I have to clean the brush after nearly every stroke and if I don't put it out of the way it floats across the yard and disco chases it..and tries to eat it. The bucket is all busted up because Disco tried to eat that too.

Our new guest

Meet the temporary addition to the clan. For purposes of this blog she shall be called Disco and she belongs to The Expat. There is no room at her mummy's new place so she will stay here for a little while.

The Expat is terrified we will want to keep her and no wonder. She really is a lovely pooch and the kind that gets under your skin really quickly. However, sometimes the shine is taken off when she jumps onto my head at 4.30am thrilled and excited about the possum relay on the roof or when she leans against a newly painted wall....

SEE, I'm sure she heard my fingers typing that because she has just looked up at me with those huge brown eyes saying - oh but you love me right?

Ah yes, we do.

Emo Cat gets narky

Teen Queen has decided she finds it hard living in a room with her own ensuite, telly, ipod, laptop and phone. She has gone more angsty and feral than usual so I got out the garlic and crucifixes and she has decided to visit a friend for the week.

I've been secretly relishing the holiday from the psychological warfare - but now the bloody cat has started. He doesn't like it that she has gone so he takes it out on me.

Now Emo cat is the strong, silent type. He doesn't meow, he just stares and stares and STARES until he bores a hole in the back of your head. I'm sure he thinks vocalizing is beneath him because I can count on one hand the amount of times I have heard a meow out of him. In fact he did it once when I was ignoring his hunger and it unnerved me so much I dropped my fork.

So for the last few nights he has let me know how much he misses Teen Queen. This involves jumping onto the headboard of my bed and walking along it, "accidently" knocking things off. Then jumps up onto my dresser - not cleanly, he bangs around on the floor and when I look at him he is pretending that he can't jump that high. When he gets up there he stalks up and down and actually pretends to fall over. He jumps down, then back up onto the foot on my bed. Now this makes a hell of alot of noise because he doesn't do it Ninja cat style, he uses all his body weight to make the biggest THUMP possible. He repeats this falling over routine in the wardrobe and under the bed.

Then he walks out. He doesn't want anything, he isn't hungry, he doesn't want a scratch - he is purring like a lawnmower the entire time because he simply enjoys giving me the shits.

The whole time I am posting this I am trying to get a good shot of him to post up. But NO, he is not in the mood for paparazzi today. Usually he likes getting his picture taken and will pose accordingly - this is the best I could come up with...