I think yet therefore I DON'T

You know, I get though the week thinking 'if these bloody children would stop screaming/acting up/drawing on walls I could get this/this/this and that done in peace'.


If Betty Boo would stop fighting with me at bedtime (yes - she is fighting with me, I am Zen, I am Mary Poppins at bedtime, I endure hours of bullshit from her with a smile plastered on my face and NEVER give in to the crap until she sleeps. Non-violent resistance at its best, with alcohol as my main support) I could actually write a blog post every night like I promised I would.


So what happens when I actually DON'T have the kids around? Do I do all the things I wish I could? NO.

I usually wander around the house with a stupid look on my face for awhile. Then I sit and try to read a book/hit the laptop/clean my room. Everything gets done far more quickly that I think and I'm stuffed for the rest of the day and night. It's not so bad if I know the kids will be off with Scorpio for a couple of days because I hit the ground running. All fiddly bits are done quickly and I can plan something - even if it is to FINALLY watch the last of The Lord of the Rings.


It's worse in winter because I just don't want to do anything but if I stuff around doing nothing at home all day I feel it's time wasted. In summer it's not really a problem - I go visit friends, or have them over for drinks, or go out and dance my pants off, knowing a I have full day to recover from all the kid-free shenanigans.


A couple of times lately, I have returned home from dropping off the children to literally fall on the couch and sleep for HOURS. This frightens me a little bit when I realise how tired I must have been. And how on earth I can possibly function like that on an ongoing basis. It sucks balls when I wake and need even more sleep. No, really NEED even more. Then I go into the whole 'wasted day' thing again.

I am finding a balance though - very slowly, and I know when spring and summer return my energy will too. I allow myself the time to rest, but only after I have done a few key things so I can prevent the banshee in my head from screaming too loudly, so I can really enjoy some solitude and self-care and stay in that moment.





Cos if the Mumma ain't happy - aint noooooo one happy.

Family Xmas report....and a great big tangent.

As usual it was fantastic.

Cept for the fact my sisters girlfriend had an unfortunate incident at work where her safety rope snapped (WHOA) and she came off her trapeze and broke her wrist. Bugger. There is always one or two that can't make it.....

We were at a Bush Camp in North Victoria and BOY were things different 6 years from the last time we were there. First point - about 8 million housing estates had sprung up. We were in the middle of nowhere last time!

Second point - last time we were there it was December and therefore SUMMER. I have pictures of Teen Queen sitting in the blow up pool with 6 month old Cyclone and boy it was hot. This time it was FREEEEEEZING!

Although we fired up the huge wood heater the moment we got there it still took ages to warm up, but good food and music helped us get toasty.






Although I have several awesome pics of my family gathered around Kaz and her guitar heartily singing clothed in 15 layers and clutching glasses, I realised I shouldn't really publish them it might bugger up whatever professional standing my relatives hold.....like at rather salubrious educational institutions around the state so you will have to make do with this pic and use your imaginations....


After all the little 'uns had gone to bed, the guitar came out quick smart and after we got the Creedence Clearwater Revival and the Dylan songs out of the way Uncle G started a rousing rendition of "Bound for South Australia".

Isn't it amazing how you realise you remember the words of songs you haven't sung for years?

"Heave away you rulent kings, heave away, haul away. Heave away you'll hear me sing - bound for South Australia"

Now those are the words I was taught and the only words I know. "Bound for South Australia" is a famous sea shanty used by the wheat and wool traders that worked the clipper ships between Australia and London. It's such a great song to sing that I was going to post the lyrics or even a Utube by The Pogues so you could all get rocking yourselves...

but now I'm pissed off because the words are all different from the ones I know. It used to be about Rulent Kings and leaving your wife and child behind and making do with a bottle of whiskey....but all I could find was versions going on about rolling kings and meeting Miss Nancy bloody Blair.

What happened to the lyrics I was taught at school over ABC Radio National??? HUH??


Now I don't usually spruik for comments - but I'd really like to know.

1) Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?
2) Do you know what happened to the lyrics?

Yummy skin for winter

So we have spent the last few weeks wearing layers and rugged up against the cold, curled up in front of the heater and blasting our electric blankets as high as they can go.

Therefore it's time for a good body scrub to get rid of all the (eewwww) layers of dead skin building up.


Here are a couple of very EASY and basic body scrubs -


Easy 1
Favourite moisturiser + a handful of salt OR sugar. Yep that's it. I prefer salt myself. Mix in a small bowl so it's a bit runnier than a paste.

Easy 2
Salt or sugar + Extra Virgin Olive Oil (or avocado, almond, even a massage oil). Add a drop or two of lavender if you like.


Green Tea
For something a little more refreshing use half a cup of sugar, a teaspoon (or bag) of green tea leaves, add your oil of choice and stir together.


Oat Scrub
Half a cup of Quick Oats (if you only have rolled oats or oatmeal you should whizz them in a blender first.
Half a cup of sugar, mix it up with your oil of choice.


I put my hair up, jump into the shower (and therefore always use plastic containers to mix the scrubs!) wet myself down then scrub in a circular motion. Don't go too hard - let the exfoliant do the work.

I start with my boobs, then tummy and legs, then arms/shoulders of course paying attention to knees, elbows and heels. Get someone to do your back for you. Heaven.




Rinse yourself off, pat dry and you will feel like a million dollars.


Now - like I said these are basic scrubs. All you need is an exfoliant and a moisture base.

Exfoliants - Ground Oats/Oatmeal. Salt. Sugar - white/caster, brown sugar is lovely and not as rough.

Moisture Base - any type of oil. Plain Olive Oil can be a bit heavy (and smelly), so I use the extra virgin. I just love olive oil for everything.


Extras - green tea leaves, your fave essential oil, honey, bi-carb soda - oh just chuck a bit of that in anyway, it's great stuff too.


I only ever make enough for one use. You probably could make a big jarful and store it but there could be an issue with spoilage, unless you have a mainly salt base.

So go ahead and have fun, make up your own personal blend with all your favourites or just do the most basic for a very quick, yet very effective skin pick-me-up.


Yes you can use them on your face. Just go very gently ok?

Onion Syrup for coughs

Don't panic people. It's not as bad as it sounds, it's cheap, easy and IT WORKS.

I don't believe in most cough medicines because they just don't work AND even though they don't work they have horrible things in them that you can't ingest if you are under two or pregnant. Which sucks.

So it's winter and I probably should have posted this before but sometimes I forget I don't have ESP.


You need -

An onion or two
Honey (Manuka is good but any will do)
2 jars with wide necks.
A knife and a chopping board.


Slice the onion thinly.
Wash the jars thoroughly. Dribble a couple of teaspoons of honey in the bottom.
Layer about 2 cms of sliced onion, then a layer of honey.
Repeat till you are out of onions, squashing down the layers as best you can.
Put in the fridge overnight or for a good few hours.

Strain off the liquid, or just tip the liquid from one jar to another - whatever. Leave the onions behind.


Take a teaspoon full whenever you need - safe for children and preggos.

The astringent qualities of the onion will infuse into the honey and you will barely taste the onion at all. It reduces the frequency of the cough and is great for chest infections.

Onions are awesome for everything by the way...

I said I would and I AM!

I told you I was going to write every single day for a month.


I haven't missed a day, I've been posting over here at Lulu & The Cyclone.

Things have been busy in Cyclone word. He is still cool as shit though....

Spoilage

So I lashed out this weekend and took myself off for a massage.




In Warburton, one of the prettiest (if not THE prettiest) towns in Victoria. I love this place, it's only 90 minutes away in the hills and just being there makes me feel calmer. Summer is just as lovely and the river is a perfect place to cool off but sometimes a little scary on a hot windy day. It was sheer luck and a change of wind direction that spared Warburton from tragedy on Black Saturday.





I walked into the Wellbeing Centre strung higher than a racehorse, and walked out after an hour with Manfred floating an inch off the floor. $65 for an hour of heaven - well half an hour really - I should have warned Manfred he would need a meat tenderiser to get my shoulders down from around my ears before he could get me into a workable state.
Truly, my voice was about 3 octaves lower and the static in my head was down 95%. I rugged up and spent nearly an hour wandering down the main street and fossicking in the shops.





Some handmade soap and 2 second-hand books later I headed home for a bath and a facial.


Total bliss, highly recommended.

Vehicle detective....

I have been rather perplexed for awhile now. I have a car for sale and no one wants to buy it.

It's in near perfect condition, full service history, low mileage and all the bells and whistles you could want. But no one wants. It has been weeks and weeks and no word.

With everything going on in my life right now, I am just unable to take enquiries and deal with tyre kickers each weekend so my dear mechanic and friend Kiwi Mick told me he would handle it all for me. He sells cars alot and crap on Ebay all the time so it wasn't too much of a stress for him.

I gave the car a quick once over with the vacuum, a tearful goodbye ( I don't want to get rid of it, but who really needs 2 cars?) and told Kiwi Mick I would arrange for a detailer to do a proper job. Ah, no don't worry says Mick - I'll sort it out.

I breathe a sigh of relief and feel thankful for friends.

So weeks have gone by without a sale and since I am going away for the weekend I decide I'll take it out for a nice big drive. Mick and I have a quick chat and a mutual headshake about the lack of buyers - I load it up with bags, seats, sleeping bags kids and dog.

After a few kilometers down the highway and I think I'm onto something. It might be a clue...or two.

The windows are dirty there are marks everywhere and when you turn on the heater it REEKS OF CIGARETTES. Not just cigarettes, but butts soaked in beer and left out in the sun for a week.


Do you think I'm onto something? Should I resign from my job as Kid Wrangler and become a detective?


Yours in pissed offed-ness,

Lulu