Sunday, June 20, 2010

Parenting......separately

So I can squeeze 8 pound babies out of my vagina, survive on little to no sleep for 3 years and find matching socks every morning. Parenting with Scorpio has been alot harder than all three.

But we do it. We fought through it and continue to fight to this day.

To be honest my main issue was the McDonalds drop offs on a Sunday. I know 8 million people that do it - swap the kids over, neutral territory, public place yadda yadda yadda. I can think of nothing more uncomfortable and I'M NEVER GONNA DO THAT.


We do it because once we were like this.



Eagerly anticipating the birth of our son. Couldn't quite believe how lucky we were and that 10 years after we first met this was actually happening.

And yeah, the wheels fell off in the end and a little girl had also arrived by the time we crashed - there were ups and downs but you can't say it wasn't FUN.

As time went on we could see we were awesome parents, just not in the same room. After the early blurry years of a screaming unsettled baby, it became apparent we actually weren't suited at all. Even though the last year was hard, I'm glad we pushed through.

Cyclone was so high maintenance he taught us to be a stronger team, he forced us to respect each other and be grateful for each others presence during the long hours of screaming, the tanties and meltdowns. We could see even though we were opposites it could still benefit the children, make them more 'rounded'.

I have endless patience for some things, Scorpio has endless patience in others. No one loves those kids like we do, and even though we may have screaming fights, hang up on each other and call each other horrible names (I've invented a few new ones I think) I can still phone him at all hours crying with exhaustion and worry and he will listen and share the burden. That's whats going to get us through the next 20 years or so, I'm sure.




And I just KNOW you love my birth outfit. I even had a matching pink cashmere hoodie but it wasn't in the shot.

6 comments:

The Fat Lady said...

Oh yeah, you look like you totally rocked out Cyclone's birth :)

Anonymous (In)fertility Blogger said...

I'm loving the outfit!

Wanderlust said...

I totally get this. My husband and I are both good parents, even if we disagree on some things. And I'm hoping we'll continue to parent well once our divorce goes through and we're in separate houses. It's always been our strong point -- the glue that's kept us together in an otherwise weak marriage. I know no one will ever love my kids like he does. And even though there are times I want to throw him off a tall building and be done with him, he is the other sun at the center of their universe.

And damn you for looking so good when you're about to give birth. I'm sure I looked like a beached whale in a tacky hospital gown.

Mrs Neurotic said...

Dude you made me cry. Warn me next time.

Did you have to make the leg warmers yourself or are they still accessible? I dunno if you look like you're going to give birth or break out in dance. Maybe interpretive dance birth?

Anonymous said...

I wonder... did you two start out parenting seperately that way or was it something that developed over time? This is something that we havent gotten to yet but its sure something Im striving for... one day maybe?

Lulu said...

Bought the leg warmers and I still have them and the dress!

Anon - it did take time, a few years actually, but we just kept most conversations to the kids and not who was to blame for us falling apart (which was HIS fault of course). We never told each other we were crap parents and promised NEVER to let anyone else parent the kids.

That really helped on the respect side. Even if we didn't feel it at the time.