Monday, June 28, 2010

Worlds Tidiest Man?

So this housesharing this is going pretty well. It's like I have a wife. I've always wanted a wife.

The bachelor is so tidy it's frightening. I've always known how tidy he is, because his house never has a thing out of place - I've just never seen it in action. The man never stops. He strides from one end of the house to the other in big long steps with his arms constantly moving. Picking things up and putting them away.

Or straightening things that do not look out of place - to me anyway.

It is pretty good but it does have it's drawbacks. He isn't the type that picks up your glass before you have finished with it (oh how I hate that), and you never feel uncomfortable about being messy because you are sitting on the couch BUT

I like to sit outside with a cup of tea on a Saturday morning with a few recipe books and choose what I am going to make for the weekend. I wash the dishes and prep the kitchen and I can't find the book. I spend all day looking for it. The bachelor had put in in some feckin drawer somewhere. I flick his ear. I left it for 5 minutes!

I'm baking in the kitchen, reach for the butter and it's gone. WTF? The Bachelor has whooshed through and put it away. He does it again later with the milk and I flick his ear again. Then tell him to get the fuck outta my kitchen. Seriously- he ghosts around at the doorway wringing his hands and shifting from foot to foot. SHEESH! I'm actually a gun clean-as-i-go-er when I'm cooking but I'm not doing it fast enough for Mr OCD.

I ended up going outside and messing up the outdoor furniture and throwing a few newspapers out on the grass to distract him for awhile.

This has been going on all week. If I leave something alone or not nailed down whilst I answer the phone, chase the children, feed the cat, put on washing - IT DISAPPEARS.

I found myself clutching my diary whilst sitting on the toilet the other day.

We are finding a happy place though. He is a surface cleaner and I am a dust freak. I like folding and he likes putting away. I like cooking and he likes dishes. He hates food shopping but likes the light on when he comes home late.



Lucy said...

He sounds like a cross between Mr Tickle and my perfect man......why is he a batchelor?!

Lulu said...

oh that's EASY Luce. He has impossibly high standards, is married to work and a touch of self-righteousness.

And I don't listen to his shit so he thinks I'm awesome rofl!

Cai said...

Pack yourself a bag of Styrofoam balls for the next time he gets antsy and accidently let them go all over the floor, make sure it's in an area where they can be trapped and blow around. This adds to the fun and keeps them occupied for hours. Otherwise have the kids leave out some glitter and accidently knock it over. Either way you'll have the clean machine out of your hair for long enough to bake up a storm.

Lulu said...