Channelling McGuyver

Once again I made the trek to my spiritual home (Bunnings), said a little prayer for a pink tool belt as I crossed the threshold and crossed myself with my tape measure.

Directly above me, the Goddess of Budget Home Renovation heard my silent plea, shone her light down from the heavens and said "Unperfect Lulu I cannot grant you a pink tool belt from this house built of testosterone...but I see the sacrifice of your clothing and hair, and the dedication to preserving your fingernails despite your toil - for this I bestow a gift in the paint department"

I wandered over with a trolley to lift the massive tin of Floor Sealer from the paint section and noticed the 'mistint' paint shelf. I can't help but have a look there each time I am there - even though I know it will be full of Bile Yellow, Exorcist Vomit Green and revolting shades of brown. Cheap but unusable, even if you are colourblind. Usually. This time LO and BEHOLD there were several mistints in neutral colours. NEUTRAL COLOURS. In all my years of dedication I have never seen such a thing.




I found -
several sample pots of varying shades for 50 cents.
4 litres of interior eco paint ($52.90) for $20
2 litres of semi-gloss easy coat ($36.28) for $10
2 litres of accent super awesome ($55.88) for $15
1 litre of pale enamel ($29.09) for $5


4 litres of outdoor paint..in WHITE down from $58.90 to $15. Because the tin was dented. I have vague ideas of kicking all the tins I want with steel capped boots but realise I don't need to. I have over $350 of quality paint for $65. Thank you Reno Goddess!


Since I am paint McGuyver, I mix the pale mistints in with half a can of ceiling white as a prep coat to cover the foul walls of the PINK room.



It was a pretty gross colour itself but it did the job perfectly.

I used the gloss to cover the yukky old doors



It took days to strip the paint off the old trims, but I'm glad I did because it would have stuck out too much against the rest of the room.



The purple stuff on the edges is masking tape....


About 10 minutes into painting the doors in the gloss, I noticed how thick the texture was....and how it wasn't coming off my hands with a wet cloth. Then I realised I didn't have any Mineral Turpentine. I don't even think I've used gloss/enamel paint before so it didn't occur to me to buy some.


By the time I finished the door my hands were SO STICKY and water made it worse. So I had to drive back to Bunnings for turps with 2 cloths on my hands like a dickhead to protect the steering wheel.

Uh-oh

You just KNOW that when renovating an old house that you are going to have 'Uh-oh' moments and in fact several "oh SHIT" moments.

Due to the insane 'architecture' of the previous extension to my home - which includes random materials clearly sourced from questionable origin, I was expecting those moments. My bedroom is a good size...but has two doors. In the same wall. Out of the 4 bedroom doors one was an unattractive shade of green, 2 were poo brown and the last half heartedly painted white.

The carpet was so threadbare in places and surely reclaimed from an old government building....and it was PEA GREEN.



You can catch a bit of the carpet in the corner here. That's Cyclone pulling out staples with the pliers. Let's not talk about the horrific pink on the walls just yet *vomit.

So I pull up the carpet in Betty Boo's old room....and here is the uh-oh moment.



The lighter parts are rotted board and it may be possible put your foot through it

How could I forget the first winter after we moved in when we discovered every downpipe was completely blocked by 20 years of leaves? Rain ran down the walls in both kids rooms and clearly soaked the carpet in the corner. We fixed it the next week, and we didn't have a problem again. Till now.


The next one was an "Oh SHIT" moment.



More water damage, but this is worse because it's floorboards and because that wall backs onto the bathroom...so hell knows what I'm going to uncover when I start on that!

FIXIN' TIME



Cut out the damage



Nail down a new section of yellowtongue floorboard at the cost of $19.99



and hope the children continue with their broom obsession because it's really coming in handy.

TA DAH!

$25 DAILY late fee? I don't think so...

Got a bill in the mail today - URggh, right?

It's from Cyclones Occupational Therapist. It seems our Early Intervention Funding well has run dry very suddenly, so I need to pay the difference of the his last session.

It's not going to happen very quickly, it's right before Xmas and I'm scurrying around trying to find a little extra funding to help us through till the end of the year. I want to pay it, this OT was doing some good work with Cyclone and was a wonderful source of support to me.

But then I got this -



In case you can't read it, the invoice must be settled in 7 days and "A $25 later fee will apply everyday that payment is outstanding."

Are you fucking serious? Even the Big 4 Banks can't get away with that sort of late fee.

Here is my response


Dear XXXX,

I have received your invoice dated 25/11/2010. As you may be aware our Early Intervention Funding has run out unexpectedly. I am in the process of sourcing further funding to make up this shortfall and will endeavour to pay the outstanding amount as soon as possible. I do consider this a priority.

However - Jesus will descend from the Kingdom of Heaven and play centre-half back for Jerusalam before I will accept a $25 PER DAY late fee.
Please do not expect that this will be included in the settlement of this invoice.

Cheers,



Pfft - the dickheads.

The State of my CAR!!!

Bloody hell.

I think shit breeds in there, I can't control it - but oh how I try...

Why my children need to take off their clothes in the car is beyond me. Betty is the worst because she cannot keep her shoes on. Even when she is freshly dressed in the morning she takes her shoes and socks off as soon as I put her harness on.

I once found 6 pairs of shoes and eleventy-four random socks.




I KNOW PEOPLE - I should get everyone to take their crap out of the car each day when we get home, and I try but it never works.

Cyclone leaps out of the car before it even stops in the driveway and is away on his bike, Betty follows soon after to chase the Fluffy Mutt who is joyfully tearing after Cyclone and I'm usually bolting straight into the house for a wee I've been holding onto for hours because I'm scared of public toilets.

I have the utterly brilliant idea that leaving the car doors open will remind me to go back and drag all the crap out. Which would be great if I parked the car in the bloody lounge room.

So, clean car people PLEASE tell me how you maintain it. Both sides of the van have large sliding doors so it's particularly embarrassing showing the world what a messy tart I am every kinder and school drop off.

Following on from Ocsober...

I've done a few posts on my views of drinking - HERE and HERE and HERE
including how I have handled my teen daughter and the alcohol factor.

I've had lots of conversations with lots of people about drinking. Considering my obvious love of a drop or 5 I think people can be rather surprised at the fact I simply refused to let my daughter drink until she was 18.


Parental influence shapes a childs attitude to drinking. From every side of every argument - behind it all is your experience as a child. Ummm, says me - but anyway.

My experience.

My parents are drinkers. My family are big drinkers. Every event we have (maybe twice a year) alcohol is flowing freely. We have a wonderful time, we laugh, we sing, we dance. My family have run pubs and red wine is in my veins.

But from that came my Alcohol Education. It was/is unspoken. You EARN your place in the world as an adult. You learn to hold your drink. This doesn't mean jam as much as you can down your throat and manage to keep standing. It means knowing your limit. Everyone has different limits. I would DIE rather than be seen stumbling in front of my family.

From my family I learnt respect for alcohol and what it can do. Just because it was everywhere didn't mean it was for everyone. A good night at the pub is just as much about being a good host and customer service as anything. Most of us have either managed a pub or worked behind the bar. We have seen it all sober, the good and the bad.

My parents had a cocktail after work and a beer after working in the garden. Yes - alcohol was always around and I only ever saw it being consumed responsibly (except when dad had one too many and fell in the pool whilst he was cleaning it. Mums pursed lips was a sign it was NOT alright *grin)

Not everyone has my experience, I have friends with parents that abused it terribly and won't touch a drop. That grew up under the influence of alcohol in the worst possible way. I have met teens that go to groups like Alateen because they are afraid they won't be able to stop like their mum or dad, even though they haven't even started.

Alcohol abuse costs this country millions a year in damages. It has the power to
ruin families and break hearts as well as bodies.




Your children are watching...what do you do to ensure their education? Because you know it doesn't start when they are teens don't you?

If these walls could talk.

I just thought I'd make you aware of the fact I am going to bore you all silly with pics of my Budget Home Renovation.

I'm spending every spare moment at the house. Which really is lots of 2 hour blocks so not much time to get an entire house done inside and out. Truthfully - this is supposed to be my funnest time, but it's not. I am trapped by a budget that is minute, I don't have enough time to really chase down the things I want and I worry it's going to look weird and disjointed.

But I soldier on like a bloody trojan because the only way I'm going to get this done is to actually get it done.

I'm alone, the space is huge and I feel overwhelmed by the pain and sorrow infused into the walls I'm washing down. The long sleepless years, the fear of what the future held for Cyclone, the worries of how I was to keep everything together whilst the house and my family was falling apart.


So what do you do?


Ya call in your buddies!



Some are good with powertools





Some aren't but rock up with pizza and willingness to give anything a go



and some just come to keep me company and share a cup of tea, and sweet times with their little boys who thrive amongst all the noise.


And day by day, as the laughs get louder, pizza consumed, the old replaced with the new - the pain and sorrow washed away and replaced with joy and optimism.

I am rebuilding my house, my family home the place I've raised my babies and I'm also rebuilding my spirit.

Wax On, Wax Off.