Cyclone is going to school

Yep, it's time and he is really looking forward to it. Let me introduce you to one of Cyclones fellow students



This is the view from the gazebo where the children wait to be picked up at the end of the day



I know it seems silly driving him 20mins away when there is a perfectly good school 2 streets away. But...not really. Have a look at those pics - I know where I would rather be each day.
At this school, the students take responsibility for the care of the animals. The younger students collect the eggs and put the chooks (heaps of them and all different kinds) away at the end of the day.
The older kids place the horses along the driveway in the morning to mow the grass and put away the bigger animals at night.
The preps sell the eggs at the school market, record sales etc - that's one of the ways they learn maths.

I also love that according to the school handbook - "It is the responsibility of the first year students to locate every puddle in winter".

So my sensory Cyclone wont be considered a problem child if he can't sit still and needs to roll around in the grass during class. If he gets overwhelmed his teacher will see it and send him out to round up the geese or count eggs.
They go on impromptu excursions if the class discussions lead them on a mission, riding lessons in the sports program and the 2nd language is Auslan because the students got bored of Indonesian and voted for it themselves.

Yaaaaaaaaay! Oh and the school is also in the top 10% for science/maths.

BRING IT ON - we are all so excited!

More sigh

I'm feeling more apathy as the days go by. I have so much to do, plenty of time but no money to do it with. It could be worse but this doesn't appeal to my impatient personality one little bit.

I have this to go



The roof is gone rotten and started falling off. It's a priority because you can see it from the street and it's just embarrassing.

So I bought myself the timber for a Xmas present and set about demolishing the parts still attached. MORE satisfaction. I love wielding a hammer and destroying stuff is fun.

I had grand plans of doing this little project aaallll by myself. Sadly as the slats came off I could see a fair bit of rot on the beams. Never mind. I have some great beams collected from the hard rubbish that I could use. Buuuuuut - this is out of my league.



There are only one or four damaged beams, and I probably could have a go myself but Aquaman and Tradie Jay think I'm mad. I suppose I should listen. I am NOT going to listen to them telling me I have to buy new beams though. THEY say I should by new treated ones. I'm not gonna. I have perfectly acceptable reclaimed (and unused) beams stacked up and waiting. I'm going to paint them to protect them - NOT buy new ones. So there.
Although I did quickly check out my Top Secret Wreckers Yard for the plank covering but you can't really reclaim the thinner pieces and have to buy them new.

I always listen to Top Secret Wreckers man when he gives me advice - cos he's a hottie.

So much apathy, so little time

*sigh

I'm tyyyyyerd. It's taken me a week to type this sentence. It's not that I've been slack - I've got the window done



Rotten job that one. It took ages chiseling out all the old putty, it was hard as a rock. I had the glass ready, so I had to wait a bit until tradie Jay could spare some time after work. He did the work for a slab of beer, so I make sure he didn't have to do the crap bits, just fit the glass in.

Tradie Jay is a friend of Aquaman. Splitting up with Aquaman sucked, but losing access to the tradies was terrible too. I fought hard for Mick the Mechanic though. I know, I know other couples fight about who gets the tupperware......

Conversations with the kids

For some reason the children come out with these really interesting questions just as you have kissed them goodnight and are walking out of their bedrooms (and straight to the fridge for a cold one). Scorpio gets sucked in every time and likes to report them so here are a few pearlers from my babies.

Betty Boo - Daddy, who is Christofart Robin?
Scorpio - You mean Christopher Robin? He is Pooh bears best friend.
Betty Boo - NO DADDY, it's ChristoFART Robin, Cyclone told me.
Scorpio - Oh, ok - I still think he is a good friend of poo....

Cyclone - Daddy, what do you do when an octopus jumps on your face?


Cyclone - Daddy what do you do if a big black cat jumps on you?
Scorpio - open a can of cat food.
Cyclone - No dad, a really big one like the size of a leopard and you can't see it because it's black and it jumps out at you.
Scorpio - You don't have to worry about that darling, we don't have big cats like that in Australia
Cyclone - but daddy, what if I'm an adventurer?


I'll end this with the funniest comment I've heard from a 5 yr old in a LONG time. He didn't want to go to bed and when told by Scorpio that's certainly where he was going "You're NOT my daddy, you are just mummy's boyfriend"

So wrong on so many counts but he does his best to push buttons ha ha ha ha ha!

Scorpio - can't live with him, can't shoot him.

Ach! Parenting with someone that annoys you no end is HARD. I suppose it's harder when you have to actually see them everyday....and since I don't I suppose I should put that in the column of positives....in BIG FAT RED pen.

He is a great dad and loves the kids like there is no tomorrow....but

he takes 800 years to START a job
he takes 900 years to FINISH a job
when he is here is uses every, single plate and glass in the house and trashes the rest of it, so it takes me 2 days to tidy everything after he has left.
when he returns a week or so later he smugly announces he is going to 'help me tidy up'
said tidying up never happens anyway
When he is here the children refuse to go to bed unless daddy tucks them in but
he thinks mowing the lawn at 8 pm is appropriate - right at bedtime.
he tells Cyclone insanely wonderful bedtime stories that last 45 minutes, which in turn has the poor childs eyes spinning like pinwheels and he can't sleep.

I wont bore you anymore and I'll have to stop anyway because earlier today he sent me a text -

You make beautiful children, cheeky but beautiful. Thank you xoxoxo

AAARRRRGHHHHHHH!

I haz some answers.....

Alrighty then, I have 2 answers from my previous ponderings.

1) Yes there is liquorice vodka but you have to infuse it yourself. This may require more research on my behalf because I'm not sure what liquorice to use. I still would like to know if I could just buy it pre-infused.

2) How much hair can a labrador shed in 15 minutes? THIS MUCH



After my last post I sat down and brushed Disco. I usually do this once a day, or even twice if I am trying to get out of housework. This is a terrible shot but the container is about 5 litres. I have to clean the brush after nearly every stroke and if I don't put it out of the way it floats across the yard and disco chases it..and tries to eat it. The bucket is all busted up because Disco tried to eat that too.

Things I'm wondering today

Why is the Glad Wrap on my desk?

Whatever happened to the awesome Melbourne Cool Change?

Have they invented licquorice infused vodka yet?
If so, why don't I have any?
If not, WHY NOT?

Why is Nicolas Cage permitted in front of a camera?

and again - how much hair can this Disco dog drop in one day???? It looks like the previous volume was normal...now it appears she is actually moulting. I literally have hair snow drifts at the back steps and all the way down the side of the deck.

Why does Fluffy Mutt have to roll in poo when her hair is long? Why must it be a combination of cat AND possum poo?

Disco Destructo

I entered a photo competition recently, the theme was ME. Here is one of the shots I nearly entered.
It accurately represents me, awesome shoes and power tools. If you look at the pane of glass behind you can see a large crack in it – that’s pretty representative of my and my life too – always bloody fixing something…

Anyhoo, the crack stayed there happily for a few weeks but after one too many slams of the sliding door put too much stress on it and suddenly a chunk of glass about the size and shape of an American football dropped out. Eye rolling, shoulder shrugging and rude words aren’t going to fix anything, but I do get personal satisfaction out of implementing these actions. At least the kids weren’t home, so I could ignore it for a few days and wonder out of which orifice I am going to pull the money to fix it. I’m brokedy broke broke broke right now.

Last week I found some lovely lamb offcuts for the dogs. As usual I fed Fluffy Mutt in the laundry and Disco outside. Disco is a piglet that uses mafia-type standover tactics to rip the mutts food from her, because she literally INHALES food and Fluffy Mutt takes a dainty 20 minutes to dine.
It was all too much for Disco, she ran all the way around the house to see if she could sneak in the side door. I am too smart for her (NOW) and lock it otherwise she somehow manages to open it. Foiled again Disco – or was she?

The bloody dog jumped through the window.




Yes she did. Put her nose though the hole, got another big whiff of lamb chop and decided to go for gold. Oh the noise!!!! It scared the bejaysus outta me. The whole thing went in slow motion, I heard a crack and turned around to see her flying through the window with hundreds of glittering shards of glass floating around her. Looked a bit spectacular in the sunlight actually.
Luckily she was totally fine (I have no idea how), looked bewildered for a second or two before heading straight to Fluffy Mutts chops and hoovered them up.

Bad shot but at least she looks suitably ashamed.

Update on my garden.

So we lovingly planted hundreds of tiny seeds and misted them with water each day, patiently waiting to see tiny signs of life.
Then the dog ate them. Scattered the pots and rolled in the soil. Sorry folks, the dog really did eat my homework!

I also haven't had too much time to get my butt into the vegie patch lately, the scorching heat we had in November knocked lots of plans on the head...but I'm still going to blame the dog tee hee


Disco dog – killer of Sweet William….