Saturday, September 4, 2010


About 3 hours after I was dancing on the coffee table at my little win this week, I was brought smashing back down to earth.

Mum called to let me know my step father has lung cancer and the outlook is not very good at all. He has been coughing for a few weeks and all of a sudden it's nearly too late. He has never smoked in his life.

Which therefore makes me 15 shades of fuckwit because I DO smoke. Most of the time I love it. Some of the time I hate it. I have been intending to give up for the past two years but there is always some drama that 'prevents' me, or some event or some other issue that requires me to inhale nicotine whilst pondering.

So no more as of today.

Yeah, I'll be shitty and stressed but how much more than what I have been lately? And who cares anyway - I'll get over it. I've given up once and I can do it again but this time it's forever.

Goodbye stinky
Goodbye lethargy
Goodbye dull skin
Goodbye to the illusion I need cigarettes



MMBB said...

Oh no :( {hugs} I hope things turn around.

Goodluck with the quitting, and like the new,more reasonable quit ad says, it might take you a couple go's but you CAN do it. Just keep trying.

And don't blame yourself :( Apparently the pollution in the air of built up areas can be worse than being around a smoker

more {hugs}

my pa is recovering from cancer at the mo

Anonymous said...

I have quit and started again and again etc... its called will power and everyone has it hidden somewhere ,you will get there hun ;-0 ((( HUGS))))

Lucy said...

Oh Luce, I am so sorry about your step-dad. That is a shit.

And from a chick who was a hard core smoker for 27 years, to you, I KNOW YOU CAN GIVE IT AWAY.

If you want a copy of the Allan Carr book, lemme know? Can post it to you in a heartbeat. Worked for me.

Jennifer Kay said...

I quit cold turkey when my dad had a heart attack in 2001. We pinky swore that we were never going to smoke again and it was hard but in a way it made me feel free again.

Give it time, it will get better and you will be thankful that you did it.

feltpets said...

Sorry to hear about your step-dad Loo.
Cancer is a shit, my dear Mum had secondary lung cancer and it was terrible to be so helpless to help her.
And good luck with the quitting. I know you can do it, you have the right motivation to do it!

Being Me said...

God I'm so sorry about your step-dad's news. Good luck with quitting, it seems unimaginably hard.

Anonymous said...

What awful news, you and your family must be gutted. Sending you light.