Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Welcome to WTF??? The remix...

Thank you to everyone that commented on my Perfect Day, Iz feelin the lurrve.

Of course, the higher you go the harder you fall and we have had a very difficult few days since. In fact I decided it was MY turn for a meltdown and ended up calling Lifeline....only to be told I should call the media. Yes people...apparently I should call A Current Affair. I will say that the effect was immediate in that I ceased to feel helpless and instead felt anger...job done people. It stopped me whining at least.

In any case I thought I'd let y'all know I'll be hanging out at my other blog Lulu and The Cyclone for awhile to process all the crap that's been happening around here lately. I'm in the kind of mood where I may very well tell random strangers their babies are ugly or start tripping over picture-perfect mummas at the shops - best I retreat to a cave for a little bit.

My WTF moment reminded me of a post I did back in May, here it is -

Ever read the piece "Welcome to Holland"? Check it out HERE. It was written in reference to finding yourself with a child with a disability but all the mums of kiddies On The Spectrum liked it so much we pinched it for ourselves.

Madmother did her own version called Welcome to Somalia

Here's mine -

The Steward announces over the intercom - Welcome to Holland! I grab her arms as she bounces past. Errrm, no I tell her - this plane is going to Italy! I paid for these tickets months ago, I've learnt how to say alcohol in every different dialect!

The Steward looks confused and returns shortly - there has been a mix up, I'll get back to you. Here's a vodka. After circling for hours she returns and announces we will be landing in Las Vegas.

WTF? I don't want to go there - it's too bright and shiny and the noise never stops. I planned on Italy, dammit. What's wrong with these people? Doesn't the pilot have a fricken map?

Oh thank goodness the plane is descending....I look out the window and see Somalia - NOOOO! The plane suddenly raises altitude again and I watch for another few hours whilst we fly over Egypt *sigh, circle over Iran, over Nepal *sigh

I need to stretch my legs, I'm sick of watching Adam Sandler movies over and over, the food is wretched and they have RUN OUT OF VODKA.

I have no idea where or when this plane is landing and now I don't care. At least I'll have friends in Holland and Somalia...maybe a few in Las Vegas. I just want to GET OFF.

Where do they keep the fucking parachutes?????


KayK said...

that's VERY clever, i mean the original as much as yours. i get it.
i think i have had detours in my flight plan as well as in my experience of motherhood (how did you initially find out that your son is ..spectrum, as you say ? i wonder, because i am wondering if mine is at times, hard to say we're a family of undiagnosed crazies really)
i'll try to find it but your link to madmother's version does not work, maybe you want to fix that.
i had an interesting experience with lifeline when i called them for the very first time. a chick whom i told stuff i had NEVER told anyone said i should 'not dwell on the past'. sort of surprised me a little as an advice too. o_O

Curvaceous Queen said...

As someone who bought tickets for Fiji and ended up in Poland all I can say is please pass the parachute.

*clinks cocktail glass* Cheers

Anonymous said...

Unbelievable! Maybe call ACA about the incompetence of Lifeline. That's just so wrong it's not funny.

Anonymous said...

Oh wow. That's a very creative way of putting it! It definitely gave me a better understanding of what you are going through!

I read Emily's version too. Very clever indeed!
It must be hard at times, but I'm sure you are doing your very best. You maybe just need to be reminded more often how important YOU are also! x

Madmother said...


Somalia is here:


Anonymous said...

I'm curious as to how the media is supposed to help you... what a bizarre suggestion. Hope it settles down for you soon.

Lulu said...

Oh thanks MM - I've linked it in properly now!

Oh the IRONY of that comment. It's my fave nasty thing to say when someone is whining - "oh call ACA FFS".

She just didn't have a fricken clue, I just needed to blat it all out and she is telling me to fucking well GOOGLE Aspergers to see what help was out there. *headdesk

Being Me said...

The Lifeline chick did WHAT?!?!?! If you are serious, that is one of the worst breaches I've ever heard. What are they there for if not to listen when you are absolutely desperate and have nowhere else to sound it out? Far out. I want to call her supervisor!!

In Real Life said...

How stressful for you...hugs!