Friday, May 14, 2010

Welcome to WTF?

Ever read the piece "Welcome to Holland"? Check it out HERE. It was written in reference to finding yourself with a child with a disability but all the mums of kiddies On The Spectrum liked it so much we pinched it for ourselves.

Madmother did her own version called Welcome to Somalia

The Steward announces over the intercom - Welcome to Holland! Errrm, no I tell her - this plane is going to Italy! I paid for these tickets months ago, I've learnt how to say alcohol in every different dialect!

The Steward looks confused and returns shortly - there has been a mix up, I'll get back to you. After circling for hours she returns and announces we will be landing in Las Vegas! WTF? I don't want to go there - it's too bright and shiny and the noise never stops. I planned on Italy, dammit. What's wrong with these people?

Oh thank goodness the plane is decending....I look out the window and see Somalia - NOOOO! The plane suddenly raises altitude again and I watch whilst we fly over Egypt *sigh, circle over Iran, over Nepal *sigh

I need to stretch my legs, I'm sick of watching Adam Sandler movies over and over and the food is just wretched.

I have no idea where or when this plane is landing and now I don't care. At least I'll have friends in Holland and Somalia...maybe a few in Las Vegas. I just want to GET OFF.

Where do they keep the fucking parachutes?????