Sunday, May 2, 2010

Craptacular

Ach - so I'm povvo. It's not going to change unless I do something drastic, and that's in the works now. So out of the long months of denial and freefall into the next chapter of Not Being Povvo Anymore.

Here's how I got here -

My marriage to Aquaman sadly hit the skids. I was working full time in a government job and things were sweet financially. I only had Teen Angst Queen...who was then known as Awesome Child.

Scorpio reappeared in my life and Cyclone arrived on the scene..errm rather quickly. Something to do with Scorpios house burning down and me clearly providing waaaaay to much comfort *snort *giggle.

I was also working part time for my father and when Cyclone was 4 months old I started a business in party plan (a cool one - ok?).
I bought a house when pregnant with Betty Boo (sucked in my tummy to get the loan) and the business started to take off. Took Mat Leave and juggled the business pretty well.

Home Business kept flying but it became apparent that I had to choose between business and family. Had savings so sailed through for awhile.

Returned to full time work when Betty was 2. Unmitigated disaster. Got shafted by stupid government - the day I showed up for work I was told I was moved to a totally different section meaning I had to completely re-train therefore stuffing my chances to return to my original salary and beyond within the timescale I required. Childcare, petrol, 2 hours a day in traffic and a Betty that wouldn't sleep turned me into a wreck within weeks and I had to chuck it in.

Bills piling up, picked up work here and there. Cyclones issues becoming more and more obvious. Thankfully find cheap therapist. Cyclone has sensory issues. This explains the intense and endless tantrums.

Betty needs a specialist for her eyes. Betty needs glasses. Car needs to be serviced. Cyclone needs a Paediatrition.

Return to study. Complete.

Start home business. Can't give it the attention but enjoy it immensely when I can.

Telly blows up. Children need clothes and food. Broken window. Car radiator bursts. Cyclone needs bigger carseat.

The list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

This wouldn't be a problem if I could have gone back to full time work, but I can't. I would need way too much time off. Cyclone has a bunch of appointments ($600 worth), he is in a school that I ADORE but costs because it's independent. I also need to be able to pick him up when he has a moment. No employer would cop that.


Now with my father unwell and needing me around alot more I've got a snowflakes chance in hell of getting back to the workforce anytime soon. I'm glad to be available to dad, it's just a heap of fricken irony that the moment he needs me I'm teetering off the edge. Fuck it.

I've hung in there for AGES, scraping by and never missing a mortgage payment but sacrificing everything else in the meantime. It's not working and the quality of life is.....craptacular.






It's allll over red rover.

4 comments:

Lady Astrid said...

Big hug sweetie. Sending you a cyber drink.

Lucy said...

Oh Luce. Do you have a plan?

Wanderlust said...

Hang in there Lulu. That's a hell of a lot to juggle but you sound like just the kind of person who can pull a genius plan our of your arse. They don't make it easy for single moms do they?

sanjeet said...
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