EMO Cat goes too far

Emo cat has been more mental than usual lately and usually it’s a source of amusement, not this time.

For the last two weeks, he has been going a little crazy. Eating like a rhinoceros, scratching my legs to ribbons and doing the Emo Cat Death Stare overtime. I think it’s because Betty Boo has been a complete ratbag and refusing to go to sleep at bedtime. Since that involves bouncing all over her bed, Emo cat can’t go to sleep at his preferred time of 8pm. He must be turning into geriatric old fart Emo cat.


He has always been a bit quirky, and has a memory like an elephant. He hates Aquaman because when we were married he wouldn’t allow Emo cat to sleep on the arm of the couch, which was up until the nuptials, his favourite place to kip. I know some people don’t like animals on furniture but personally I don’t see the point of having a cat and not let it drape itself all over the place. But I digress – Aquaman and I haven’t lived together for about 8 years, but everytime he comes to visit Emo cat strides up and pisses on his car. He doesn’t pee on anything else – he saves it for Aquaman.

But this time he has gone too far. Emo cat has been upset and apparently now I must pay.

The bastard peed on my dog.

Horrible, stinking boy cat wee, soaked deep into the plush pile of Fluffy Mutt’s coat.

BASTARD.