Thursday, April 8, 2010

Hmmm Wedding Wishing Wells or wtf they call them

So I'm going to a wedding. I don't know the people but they are friends of Aquaman, and he showed me the invitation the other day. It's lovely, in fact the best I've seen so far. Really classy, customised, black and white. It has a lovely RSVP card all stamped and ready to go.

Then something else caught my eye, a little poem in the front inside page.

To save you looking, shopping or buying
Here is an idea we hope you like trying
Come to our wedding to wish us both well
and bring a card to throw into the well.

Fill it with notes all colours will do,
green is our favourite but gold will do
Now that we have saved you all of the fuss
we hope you will come and celebrate with us.

Ummm. Ewwwww.

Sorry but I just don't like it. I think it's a bit crass. I'm really, really stuck on the bit where the colour of the money is specified....

This probably means I am getting old, or uncool or BOTH.

I like the idea of a Wedding Registry but I never promise to stick to it. I like to buy something that sometimes has a little more meaning than a Bamix. Or some artwork, or just something beautiful.

I had a fairly loose registry when I got married, we had just bought a house, had lived together previously - I understand that registries can really help these days.

But you know what? It was the things we received that weren't on the list that I love the most of all. The two STUNNING crystal vases I would have never thought to list or ever buy for myself for example.

Asking for money? It's too cold. I LIKE shopping for wedding gifts, I think the presumption that I find it a pain in the arse to buy a wedding gift annoys me even more. I know it's different in different cultures/parts of the word, I get that but I LIKE WRAPPING the gift TOO.

AND - I can name name the giver of every, single wedding present. Even 7 years later and I remember with a smile everytime I look at or use them. That's just as wonderful to me.

** Disclaimer - I don't know this couple, I'm not saying they suck or are awful.

What do YOU think?


PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Wow, I must say the thing that really used to bother me with a wishing well was not knowing how much to add. Now that I've heard of a couple specifying $100 or $50 bills.. ouch.

Lucy said...

Not my style. And I apologise to anyone out there who had done this, and I really hoped it worked for you, but I hate it, it feels skanky to me.

I get how it feels to be totally skint and I appreciate that many a young couple need cash.....but..........

It sounds like begging to me.

If you need cash that bad, don't throw a big wedding. Save the pennies instead and just shack up.

If you want a honeymoon but can't afford it a big trip without asking for cash contributions, go camping instead.

The other thing is, it makes me as a guest/gift giver really uncomfortable. Do the happy couple sit down together before the wedding night shag and analyse the loot? Do they rip open the envelopes and exclaim over their friends meagre contributions. Or snicker over other friends ostentatious offerings?

(We always give a painting for a wedding idea just works for us.)

Dansta said...

when i got married we asked for gift cards - mainly because we wanted some bedding and our bed is evil with sizing so we *know* which ones will fit. plus we also wanted to 'wait and see' what we needed - like kitchen towels (i often burn them lol) plus things like a can opener which sounds really funny on as a item on a gift list. we also had family go in together on bigger things - like a roating pan that i am in love with and the matching pots, not something i'd have bought but they'll last a life time.

but a wishing well seems cheap and the nasty part is telling them what money to put in it! ...they like god eh? choccie gold coins count??

Tenielle said...

Ooooh, yeah, give them whatever pressie you want to give them, but stick a $1 coin in the wishing well ;)

Lori said...

Oh dear. And I thought the poem saying "Just give us cash was bad". that is atrocious.

We had a wishing well as standard part of reception thingy for our wedding, but I was just as happy with presents or nothing at all, and told people that if they asked. Or we just said nothing at all. And most people bought cash anyway. That's the thing I don't get, these poems are unnecessary theses days, everyone does cash.

So Now What? said...

OH yeah, basically saying, a pineapple would be *ok* but ideally, hundred dollar notes (plural)thanks. NOT COOL.

We went to a engagement party where they had a registry (don't even get me started on that particular concept) and we gave them about 20 bamboo flares (not on the registry). We weren't invited to the wedding.

Nah, you are right to feel funny about that poem.

Lady Astrid said...

I think the poem was really off, no need for it at all.

Saying that though, we did have a wishing well at our wedding 10 years ago. We were getting married in our home state and had major concerns as to how we would get presents home. Also as we were living away from most of the guests, none of them would have known our style or what we needed around the house. It was a tough thing to do, as it was not really done back then. I think only 1 friend was a bit miffed, but she is the type to have a rod up her arse about just about everything, mainly we got compliments about it. My dad gave a gift card for Myer, other than that, no presents were given. Which to be honest I was a bit disappointed, as I half expected that many people still would have chosen a gift over cash. No, we were not broke, nor were we holding a huge wedding either, it was done on a budget, it really was a practicality thing.

I am not a fan of registries. One wedding I went to all that was left was a toilet roll holder, photo frame, expensive doona or a Dyson. I could not afford a Dyson, but there was not way I was paying for a toilet roll holder! Another had her registry at Gunns and there was no way that environment destroying company was getting my money.

The Fat Lady said...

Ooh, specifying the COLOUR of the money is a bit rich! But at the same time, I can see that maybe it was meant as a joke y'know? Possibly a bit twisted...

We had a registry when we got married, because DH had been living on his own for a couple of years and already had most stuff. I didn't really care what we were given, I was just trying to get away from the whole 6 toasters and no towels thing. Which worked great, we got approximately 50 MILLION towels and no sheets.

But all the cash we were given paid for the sheets ;)

The Aldo's. said...

i had a problem even asking for gifts. No way i could sleep at night sending that poem to people.

We didn't ask for gifts, we didn't ask for money. We didn't ask for anything. I just couldn't do it. I really think the whole expecting and asking for gifts things is a bit off. If people want to give a gift then that is lovely, but to ask for one is just greedy in my mind.

Who cares if you get two or ten things the same, or something is not exactly as you would have liked???

Isn't it the thought that counts?????

feltpets said...

We eloped! But some people still gave us gifts after they found out.

We recently went to a wedding, and we gave them a share in a horse (trotter), and they love it. Plus we get to go out and watch her race and make a night of it for as long as she races.

I don't mind registries, they can be convenient. I've never heard of a wishing well before. However, being of Asian decent, money is what most people give at those weddings.
But specifying the amount is a bit rich! (Pun intended)