Saturday, September 5, 2009

Scorpio got arrested this morning.....

Oh yeah.

It's Fathers Day tomorrow so Scorpio is staying over so the kids can jump on his head at 7am screaming Happy Fathers Day and forcing him to eat soggy toast (hey if I have to cop it for Mothers Day he can suffer too - we share the load).
It worked out well because I wanted to go out for lunch for my dads birthday, nephews birthday and fathers day conveniently rolled into one and I didn't want to drag the entire tribe out to be bored at a swanky cafe.

Unfortunately Scorp could feel a migraine coming on so dashed down to the shops before I left for some decent pain killers. He didn't come back. His phone went to voicemail, I needed to leave. I sent text messages calling him seven types of bastard, left Teen Queen in charge and headed off to pick up dad.

No, I didn't start calling hospitals or get worried cos this is what Scorpio DOES. Loses track of time, sees a friend and chats for an hour, drops in to see a mate etc etc etc. His 5 minutes is 2 hours earth time and it drives everyone nuts.

I called from the cafe and he still wasn't home after another hour. Hmmmm.
He calls another hour after that and luckily I didn't read the riot act immediately because he tells me he was at the police station all this time.

Arrested for assault.

He got to the pharmacy but the migraine hit out of nowhere as he parked the car. He felt his head splitting open and managed to get the car door open in time to hurl. His phone fell out of the car and shattered and a lovely old lady picked up the pieces for him and checked he was ok before going on her way.

He was sitting in the car with the door open and his head back and a bunch of ratbags walk past and start calling him names - drunk, druggo... The poor bugger hurls again so they come back and really pump it up. They start throwing things at him. Scorpio gets pretty angry, lets rip back at them and stands up like he is about to kick their butts - so they hastily retreat with one of them tripping and falling over before taking off.

Scorp sags back down next to the car and proceeds to be sick again. Five minutes later a police car appears, tells him there has been a report of an assault and to get in the car to go back to the station. Scorpio tells them to get lost, he's not going anywhere so they arrest him for assault. He tells me later that he completely objected to the way one of the policeman spoke to him - like he was a drunk druggo. So in the car he goes.

It turns out this bunch of little *insert expletive here* went straight to the police station and told them they were assaulted (yep the group were assaulted by one sick 'drunk' ), they had evidence you see. The one that fell over landed on broken glass and cut his hand open badly.

Back at the station he was put in a room with a bucket. He is still very sick and I can't understand why they thought he was capable of hurting anyone. The police went through his wallet and found a card from a Detective Snr Constable Plod and says "oh you've already had a run in with Plod here, looks like you're a bit of trouble". Scorpio says, no Plod is a family friend - why don't you call him. So they did.

Plod is a great guy, he came straight down and into the room where the "victims" were giving their statement. Slams down a huge file folder on the table and proceeds to tell them that they have just crossed one of the most scary ass criminals in the area and they better start telling the truth before they make it worse for themselves.
The smart little buggers say "isn't it your job to protect us"? Plod says - I'm not going to babysit you and sit at the foot of your bed every night, especially if you bring it on yourself".

So they tell the truth, retract their bullshit statement, admit they acted like a bunch of arses and apologise.


Poor old Scorpio - he attracts trouble like a magnet, but at least it makes for good blog entries *snigger

P.S In the interest of public health and safety (and Scorpios rep), I would like to make it clear he wasn't blowing chunks all over the place. It's a reaction to the migraine to dry retch...ick.


Nelle said...

Oh sweet mercy! Hahahahaha. Poor Nikki, hope he's feeling better soon.

Fiona said...

Poor thing, hope he is feeling better!! But hay gives your great material for BLOG!

Nicole said...

dp does the same thing when he get's a migrane - the dry retching thing that is not getting arrested :p